In three short weeks, the show that I am doing, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, will be opening. It is hilarious and will be so much fun for audience members. Tickets went on sale yesterday. My experience, thus far, has been wonderful. I’m grateful to both Rachael Knaps (director) and Brent Goodrich (music director) for giving me this opportunity. Being in a musical production is a huge commitment and a great deal of work. I am being stretched creatively in so many ways, and I am loving the challenge. While I am extremely excited, I am also incredibly nervous. I don’t want to just perform well, I want to SHINE!
Currently, I am struggling with my monologue. I know the words, and I know the message that I am delivering to the audience. However, I am not taking ownership as my character Mitch. I can spout out my lines at home, in the car, on a walk, but then I take the stage as Mitch during rehearsal, and my mind goes blank. I’m tongue-tied Kat, instead. The other night at rehearsal when I called for line, Tina gave it to me, and I swore she was speaking Chinese. I could NOT think! At that point, I wanted to sing “Woe is Me,” curl up in a fetal position, and suck my thumb. Thank the stars that I’m just a little dramatic and not a quitter. I have to work hard on getting out of my head and getting more into my character. Thankfully, everyone has been super supportive and patient with me. If they are willing to believe in me, I have to believe in myself. I may not be as talented as my fellow actors, but I am talented. With more effort and determination, I believe I can shine.
In Other News:
I have completed the reemergence period of The Clean 20 program. I am down another 1/2 pound which puts me at a total loss of 8 pounds since September 2nd. Even though that may not seem like such a stellar accomplishment, I’m actually happy with it. The reemergence period is where foods that were eliminated during the clean eating phase of the program are reintroduced or banned entirely. I did not create the two lists suggested by Dr. Ian Smith. I did not want to ban anything. Restrictions backfire on me. I would rather give myself permission to eat what I want and choose not to eat it than tell myself I can never eat something ever again. I’m also of the mindset that if a poor food choice is something that will only be consumed once in a very long while, enjoy it. Sometimes, feeling like crap after eating it will be enough to not reach for it again in the future. For example, I adore Bonneval’s Cracklin, but that deliciously seasoned snack with fried out pork fat skin attached is not adored by my stomach. So, as much as I would like to indulge in the future, after belching for hours afterwards and having to pop a Zantac to stop the belching, I am no longer in adoration. I confess to you, dear reader, that although I ate clean most of the time, I did eat what I wanted during this period. I ate beef and fried foods a couple of times. And, I ate sugar! I wanted carrot cake, so I ate a third of a slice that I brought home from Outback Steakhouse. It was yummy, but rich, and enough that I enjoyed it without regret. I was stressing and a little hormonal this past week, so I ate part of a chocolate rabbit (top half) on Tuesday afternoon and the other part (bottom half) on Wednesday afternoon. I basically drowned my feelings in chocolate. I must have felt guilty because that night I ended up having a sugar-related nightmare where I was in a room filled with bowls of candy, and I was stopping at every bowl, grabbing a piece of candy, and eating it. The HORROR! I have accepted my moments of weakness and have moved on. Fortunately, I am back on track.
Autumn weather has finally arrived in Louisiana, and it feels fantastic. It is perfect weather for a walk or run. My big plans for today consist of going to the movies to see Joker and then swing by the bookstore before coming back home to work on my monologue and read “The Call of Cthulhu” by H.P. Lovecraft. Enjoy what is left of the weekend, dear reader. Happiness!
“Temporary failure will not prevent you from achieving lasting success.” ~ Matshona Dhliwayo
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The Kat Files 