Today’s post centers around reflection. When allowed a moment for contemplation, circumstances that appeared daunting and overwhelming lose its seriousness in the dawn of a new day. Revelations blossom from the stressful experiences providing armor for the next wave of challenges that will surely be faced in the future.
The last few weeks have been physically uncomfortable for me. I had my back bottom tooth on the left side of my mouth extracted on 22 July because it had a fracture and caused pain every time I ate a meal. It was replaced with bone and barrier with the intention of getting an implant in a few months. I’m experiencing pain daily from the barrier which will not be removed until 17 August. I’m not a fan of prescription pain medicine, so I have resorted to taking Ibuprofen when I’ve had enough discomfort. Then on 31 July, while making my way to turn off my alarm clock at 5:30 in the morning, I tripped over Sophie (it was dark and she was not sleeping on her bed) and fell hard on both elbows and my left knee. Needless to say, I could never be a stuntwoman because I cried like a baby for about 10 minutes and prayed that nothing was broken. Thankfully, Sophie was not hurt, and I did not break anything; however, I still have bruised elbows.
Prior to this (7 July), my BFF Shelly was rushed to the emergency room in Florida because she could not breathe. She had a pleural effusion on her left lung which had to be drained and biopsied. Now, she is on the path to determine the culprit, cancer or her heart which was damaged by radiation received when she had Hodgkin’s at 16 years old. This is weighing heavily on my mind. Although, each test that she has is leaning more in the direction of the heart, the results are not conclusive. And, there are more tests to be run and information to gather in the next few weeks. Concern is playing on the periphery of my mind like background music.
Mix in a wound on Sophie’s tail that turned out to be a growth that needed to be removed because it wouldn’t heal on its own. She is 12 years old. The procedure to remove the growth was performed on 30 July. She did well, and came home that afternoon. Unfortunately, she made it difficult to clean her surgical site (even though she is sweet, she can be ornery), and the decision to bring her back to the vet on 05 August was made on Tuesday evening.
On Wednesday, 05 August, I dealt with Sophie on top of worry for my friend, my own physical pain, and going back to work in the midst of a pandemic. School looks extremely different this year. One of my duties is morning carpool. I now take students’ temperatures before they get out of their car. My first morning carpool duty was Wednesday which happened to be the first day of school. My husband left to go out of town on Monday, so I had no truck to transport Sophie to the vet. My BFF offered her vehicle, but she could not drive because she had an angiogram the day before and was unable to drive for 48 hours. I had to drive. More stress added because driving her vehicle is like driving a bus. Andrew had to go to SLU at 10:00 that morning, and I needed him to help lift Sophie (she weighs 72 pounds) inside her kennel into the vehicle. Therefore, I had to leave work immediately after carpool duty, drive to Shelly’s house to pick up Shelly and her vehicle, drive to my house to pick up Sophie, drive to the vet and drop Sophie off for an extended stay, drive back home to drop off the kennel, drive back to Shelly’s house to drop her off with her vehicle, and then drive back to school to work for the remainder of the day. Oh, and I failed to mention that after work, I had to drive to Metairie to see my dentist so he could remove the stitches in my mouth.
Wednesday was an extremely stressful day for me due to the number of events that was happening that day and the logistics surrounding them. I’m no Superwoman; however, I made it through the day and accomplished everything that needed to get done. That evening, I cracked open a can of Bad Seed (fruited gose) and ruminated on the day.
Revelations:
- I am responsible for my anxiety. Don’t catastrophize.
- Although rather slowly, I can drive Shelly’s vehicle. It was not as scary as I thought.
- I survived the day despite all that unnecessary anxiety because I allowed myself to lean on others and trust instead of thinking I had to do it all myself.
- Gratitude trumps stress and anxiety. I’m grateful to Shelly, Andrew, Julia (my co-worker), Dr. Davis (our vet), and Terri (my administrator and friend) for helping me get through Wednesday.
As I’m writing this post today, dear reader, I feel silly that I worried so much. I’ve marked this day in my calendar so that the next time there is a day in my life that seems insurmountable, I can remind myself that I’m not expected to be Superwoman. I’m blessed to have people in my life who are always willing to help me. I just have to ask. Happiness!
“If we could remember the miracles God has done in our past, we would not so easily fall into worry and fear when we have new challenges to face.” ~ Joyce Meyer
In three short weeks, the show that I am doing, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, will be opening. It is hilarious and will be so much fun for audience members. Tickets went on sale yesterday. My experience, thus far, has been wonderful. I’m grateful to both Rachael Knaps (director) and Brent Goodrich (music director) for giving me this opportunity. Being in a musical production is a huge commitment and a great deal of work. I am being stretched creatively in so many ways, and I am loving the challenge. While I am extremely excited, I am also incredibly nervous. I don’t want to just perform well, I want to SHINE!
I have completed the reemergence period of The Clean 20 program. I am down another 1/2 pound which puts me at a total loss of 8 pounds since September 2nd. Even though that may not seem like such a stellar accomplishment, I’m actually happy with it. The reemergence period is where foods that were eliminated during the clean eating phase of the program are reintroduced or banned entirely. I did not create the two lists suggested by Dr. Ian Smith. I did not want to ban anything. Restrictions backfire on me. I would rather give myself permission to eat what I want and choose not to eat it than tell myself I can never eat something ever again. I’m also of the mindset that if a poor food choice is something that will only be consumed once in a very long while, enjoy it. Sometimes, feeling like crap after eating it will be enough to not reach for it again in the future. For example, I adore Bonneval’s Cracklin, but that deliciously seasoned snack with fried out pork fat skin attached is not adored by my stomach. So, as much as I would like to indulge in the future, after belching for hours afterwards and having to pop a Zantac to stop the belching, I am no longer in adoration. I confess to you, dear reader, that although I ate clean most of the time, I did eat what I wanted during this period. I ate beef and fried foods a couple of times. And, I ate sugar! I wanted carrot cake, so I ate a third of a slice that I brought home from Outback Steakhouse. It was yummy, but rich, and enough that I enjoyed it without regret. I was stressing and a little hormonal this past week, so I ate part of a chocolate rabbit (top half) on Tuesday afternoon and the other part (bottom half) on Wednesday afternoon. I basically drowned my feelings in chocolate. I must have felt guilty because that night I ended up having a sugar-related nightmare where I was in a room filled with bowls of candy, and I was stopping at every bowl, grabbing a piece of candy, and eating it. The HORROR! I have accepted my moments of weakness and have moved on. Fortunately, I am back on track.
Andrew is officially registered to attend Southeastern in the fall. Over the Mardi Gras break, he applied for housing and just this week selected a roommate. Thankfully, Dane is a friend from high school and someone he has known since Pre-K. Andrew also applied and was accepted to the Honors Program and scheduled his orientation for June. In four and a half months, my baby will be officially moving into his dorm and starting his college career.
I had rough drafts, lesson plans, and graduation tasks to complete. I admit, I was disappointed because of everything that I wanted to do during the break, this was on the top of my list to accomplish. This would have been possible had I been able to take care of the school stuff the week before break. Unfortunately, the week before my break was pretty hectic. You win some, and you lose some. The silver lining is that I now plan to scrapbook Andrew’s trip to Ireland, Wales, and London. Furthermore, I will start organizing the materials next weekend.
aces, Books-a-Million. And, to make it even more special, today is National Book Lovers Day. I ordered coffee and ate a piece of chocolate. Andrew ordered chocolate milk and ate a chocolate crisp frog (Harry Potter). I read the Book Page magazine, and he read his new Godzilla comic book. Before we went home, we read over some important information he will need for tomorrow’s orientation.![MC900432635[1]](https://katloyacano.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/mc9004326351.png)
The Kat Files 